S.N.[HEL]L.
Well… those were some clunkers! The temptation when there’s bad Drag Race sketch comedy is to blame the writing. And while that instinct certainly has precedent (I’ve had Breastworld Eternal Sunshine’d from my mind) I don’t think that’s necessarily fair here. Were some of the jokes shitty? Of course. But Branderson Cooper and Brandi Cohen hosting an end of the world countdown? Solid premise! Interviewing the brick thrown at Stonewall who thinks she should be more famous? Good character idea! So no, unfortunately, I don’t think the producer/writers pitching these ideas are to blame here. So what went wrong?
It starts in the Werkroom, when the queens gather around the couches for a read through and casting session. Plasma – the self-described Old Hollywood/Broadway queen who sang the first episode – refuses to play a Barbra Streisand character until forced, Mirage – the quiet, shy lip syncer – fights Sapphira to play the only character with a lengthy solo monologue, and Q – who impersonated Judy Garland last week to great acclaim – opts to play the Stonewall brick instead of a member of the Babz barbershop quartet. Are we starting to see the problem? I don’t know if it’s youthful inexperience, the pressure cooker of Drag Race, or Plane Jane’s radioactive vibe poisoning the air they breathe, but these girls simply don’t understand their own strengths! We’re witnessing a mass identity crisis. Lorne Michaels, where ARE you?? Our ports in the storm – that is, only girls who seem to have their heads on straight – are Dawn, who insists that Plasma take the part that could’ve been written for her; Sapphira, who is more than happy to watch Mirage hoist herself on her own petard; and Plane Jane, who understands intrinsically that her vibe is mean dumb slut.
Issues continue in the cold open, where Xunami, Morphine, and Mhi’ya play three extremely generic TV hosts counting down to the apocalypse. Many punch ups to be had here. Perhaps Morphine as “Brandi Cohen” might have added a deep Andy Cohen-esque rasp to her voice. Or Xunami as “Branderson Cooper” might have put on a pair of glasses and acted sheepish and buttoned up. However, costume-wise, the pair seem more inclined to go a drunk Today Show host route, which also could’ve worked great. Laugh at all your own jokes! Bring a coffee mug and keep asking for more white wine! Anything to anchor these characters in a trope the audience could recognize and latch onto would have worked wonders. So when Ru singles out Mhi’ya for having a lack of “levels” in her performance it feels bizarre. She’s right of course, but was she any less dynamic than her two co-stars? As Lindsey Graham, Geneva has the easiest job of the bunch, which makes her dismal performance all the more crazy. Sporting a snakeskin dress and Guy Fieri wig, she bears not even a passing resemblance to the infamous senator in appearance or voice. It’s pretty unsalvageable, and it lands Geneva in the bottom for the second week in a row (but more on that later.)
Joining Geneva in the bottom is Mirage. Her monologue goes about as well as can be expected, which is to say… not great. Mirage is nervous, and you can see her practically apologizing for being up there in her body language as she shrinks into herself between jokes. It takes a particular type of delusional confidence to stand on an empty stage and deliver deeply mid punchlines to profound silence while hoping against hope that a laugh track will be added in post – a confidence Mirage just doesn’t possess.
The rest of the sketches, at least, provide a little reprieve. The Barbra Shop Quartet is easily the most fully formed. While light on jokes, each queen has the good sense to commit to a vibe. Plasma does a solid Barbra nasility, Nymphia has the joke cadence down and isn’t afraid to look silly, and Sapphira (the consummate pro) is probably the best of the entire cast at landing a punchline. Dawn and Amanda both admirably commit to their self-serious news anchor personas in the weekend update sketch, and Q (somewhat bafflingly) receives immense praise for her performance as the brick thrown at Stonewall, a forgotten gay icon who just wants her flowers. But the MVP of the night is quite clear: in the Thick & Long Deck Service sketch, Plane Jane dances comedy circles around just about everybody else in the room. It pains me to say it, but say it I must. No one holds a candle to Plane this week. It’s especially frustrating given how much her star is otherwise in such deep decline. Instead of doubling down on villainy, she opens the episode with a half-assed apology to Amanda Tori Meating. It’s not sincere enough to be redeeming, and not brazen enough to be villainous. Plane now occupies an odd middle ground: not fun enough to root for, nor evil enough to love to hate. I think RuPaul can sense this murky territory as well, which is why they elect to give the win this week to Plasma. To her credit, Plasma did a solid Barbra, and was successfully able to add her own spin to a sketch without a lot of jokes. While not particularly satisfying, her win is not totally unearned.
That said, I don’t think a bad sketch challenge is necessarily a searing indictment of these queens’ overall comedic abilities. Even SNL has a hard time doing SNL well every week, and they have Heidi Gardner and Ego Nwodim. Geneva Karr is many things – singer/songwriter, lip purser, glasses model, latina – but uncanny impressionist and revered Groundlings alumna she is not.
The runway this week is “Everything Every Cher All At Once,” the natural extension of season 10’s Cher the Rusical. In a nice bit of symmetry that the queens with the most impactful runways (Sapphira, Q, Plasma, Plane) are also the challenge standouts, widening the gap between them and the rest of the pack. In a bit of LePaija Vu, Mhi’ya and Geneva land in the bottom three once again, this time joined by Mirage. When Ru calls Mhi’ya safe, I was positive we were about to witness Mirage – the Swiffer of Las Vegas – wipe the floor with Geneva. But a very different story unfolded. Plasma astutely summarizes: “The only person I can watch is Mirage, because she is giving performance down… and then I realize her mouth doesn’t match the words.” And to RuPaul – who’d already clocked Mirage for this once during critiques already mind you – there’s no greater sin on this earth than not knowing a Cher song. No amount of heel clacks or back contortions in the world can save Mirage now, for her fate is sealed.
It’s a shocker to lose Mirage this early, an early fan favorite and the first viral queen of the season. No doubt the outcry in her defense will be uproarious if it isn’t already. (which is kinda the best thing that can happen to a Ru girl). Geneva skates through to another week, and the rest of the girls can breathe easier knowing that a true lip sync assassin is gone for good.
READING RUNDOWN
Plane: “I’m here to shine like the big bright star that I am–”
Amanda: “Stars are full of gas, baby.”
Amanda getting her lick back… Plane Jane, it is SO bad for you…
Q: “It’s just an opinion, girl! One that a lot of people share.”
This really got me. Such a loving read of Plasma LMAO. Immediately adding this one my repertoire.
Plasma: “I can’t help but wonder if Dawn thinks she’s royally screwed herself.”
