Motherquake (RECAP)

RuPaul's Drag Race S16E3 "Mother of All Balls"

I don’t know if it’s the jacked up cash prize, an inherent generational Gen Z viciousness, or the spirit of Joan Rivers possessing these girls, but meanness is BACK, baby! The queens are together at last, and while Plane Jane still holds the highest at-bat percentage for abject cruelty, almost every queen gets a couple great swings in. Within seconds of laying eyes on each other, Dawn tells us that Megami is the “Eeyore of drag,” Plane Jane calls Amanda a goblin creature, and Morphine tells the group Plane Jane is her ugly step sister. Again, this is by minute count 04:15. Additionally, RuPaul drops the bomb that immunity comes in the form of “potions” and is transferable?? The Survivorification of Drag Race continues apace… We are truly off to the races.

The backdrop for this unofficial roast is the “The Mother of All Balls,” (a well-timed wink at now internet-ubiquitous “mother” lingo) where the queens must prepare three looks: “Mother Goose” (nursery rhyme couture, P.S. I looove when you can tell Drag Race is running out of pitches), “Significant Mother” (referencing a famous mother), and “Call Me Mother/Father Eleganza” (creating a runway-ready look out of upcycled menswear). Most of the episode is spent in the Werkroom, which – with a different cast of queens – might have been boring, but turns out to be an absolute treat. It’s like watching 14 different “get ready with me” TikToks simultaneously and all the influencers are hyper-competitive egomaniacs. A feast for the senses.

The first feud we’re teased with is a self-imposed one: Dawn has her eyes on the prize this week the only threat to her domination is seamstress extraordinaire Q. “I think we’re engaged in a little bit of a battle today,” Dawn tells Geneva. Q, too, knows Dawn is no slouch. She refers to Dawn as “her biggest competition” before hunching over her Singer sewing machine, in focus-mode for the remainder of the episode. Dawn then briefly turns her gaze to Sapphira in an (unsuccessful) attempt to intimidate. “A groundbreaking idea,” she teases. “You be groundbreaking, I’ll just be stunning,” Sapphira whips back. 

 On the runway, despite Dawn’s best efforts, it’s kinda no competition. Don’t get me wrong, she’s good: I particularly like her Audrey Hepburn dress. The reference is immediately clear even without the accompanying photo, and it fits her like a glove. However, despite being well-constructed, Dawn’s looks just aren’t reading as well on TV as the rest of her competition. While Q’s and Sapphira’s looks are an event, Dawn’s are… an intimate gathering. As another mother, Mariah Carey, once astutely sang: a press conference vs a conversation. Q, on the other hand, doesn’t miss one look. Her man in the moon look is gorgeous and conceptual, her recreation of Judy Garland’s poppy dress (complete with mic cord) is truly exquisite – one of my absolute favorites of the night – and her final couture as impressive as we’ve already come to expect from her. The flannel tapestry she creates is Vivienne Westwood meets Viktor&Rolf meets birth of Venus. No notes. Sapphira is also pretty unimpeachable. Or should I say unimpumpkinable? Her Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater look is as visually stunning as it is logistically confounding. (Seriously, are these girls chartering cargo planes to set these days??) Her final couture looks is also great, a fun exaggerated silhouette that really evokes the “menswear” aspect of the category’s directive. When the judges reveal she is merely safe, Dawn is – in a word – plucked. Our ethereal Brooklyn queen has been fully outmaneuvered by her more seasoned counterparts.

But outmaneuvering them all is the sleeper agent of season 16, Nymphia Wind. Is she a kooky weirdo? An agent of chaos? A highly competent and calculated drag queen assassin? She could very well be all three. While Dawn is focused on the industrious Q and all-rounder Sapphira, Nymphia flies completely under her radar. As she flits about the room, giggling and parroting Spanish phrases like a cunty little Duolingo owl, she’s simultaneously interrogating Plane Jane, who she clearly suspects (accurately) of sabotaging her chances at a top two placement last week. Who, speaking of, barely escapes the queens’ ire this week thanks only to RuPaul’s mercy. But the truth may still come out… For despite a lack of concrete evidence, Nymphia is not convinced. In fact, her one-woman Good Cop/Bad Cop routine almost trips up Plane Jane enough to confess. Almost. And through it all: the Spanish messenger pigeoning, the Plane Jane inquistion, the silliness… Nymphia is concocting the chicest and most high-fashion look of the evening: a sculptural trompe l'oeil of ties blowing in the wind, complete with handmade accessories and an altered oxford button down. Combine that with her lovely interpretation of Angelina Jolie’s doodled-upon wedding dress and a stunning “little boy blue” nursery rhyme get up, and it’s clear Nymphia is a force to be reckoned with. The judges eat it up, and with no Plane Jane shenanigans can get in her way this time, Nymphia scores her first win.

Way down at the other end of the spectrum (the bad end) we find three queens I’m a little surprised to see struggling so soon. For all her confidence towards the beginning of the episode, and explicit digs at Morphine, Mhi’ya Iman LePaige is in the bottom three this week. Hard to say whether her looks were truly bottom worthy. For sure, her Lil’ Kim look was a little unpolished and not too faithful to the reference photo, and yeah, her final menswear look was nothing awe-inspiring, but overall I thought Mhi’ya demonstrated a competence that some of the other queens sorely lacked. However, it is a little disappointing to see how uncomfortable Mhi’ya is on TV. “I’m getting a timid feeling from you,” RuPaul offers, throwing her a bone. “No,” Mhi’ya replies. Well… ok then!

Awkward moment aside, Mhi’ya is the clear safe choice here when compared to her bottom three compatriots Hershii and Geneva. Geneva fell hard this week, from near-challenge winner to near-first eliminated queen. She fails in her recreation of a casual Selma Hayek look, and offers a bewilderingly simple two-piece ensemble for her couture menswear presentation. Hershii, on the other hand, offers one excellent look (Burnie Bee) and two looks so bad as to erase all the goodwill she built up in that first runway walk. It’s tough to watch play out like this, but the charming Los Angeles queen was just simply not ready for Drag Race. The competition is just too steep for her to be entering at this level.

But at the very least, she goes out on a solid note. Geneva and Hershii duke it out to “You’re the Problem” by Ava Max and it’s not a blowout. Hershii gets her licks in, and elicits a couple laughs before ultimately being out-maneuvered and out paced by Geneva, who’s quite determined not to head home just yet. She emerges victorious, and we kiss goodbye to Hershii.

If there’s one bummer about being this early in the season it’s the sheer amount of moments I have to skip over in the interests of time. So to close out this week let’s do a...

READING RUNDOWN:

“Amanda! You’re prettier without that makeup.”
–RuPaul to Amanda

JEEEEESUS CHRIST. How do you come back from this? Realistically. I think at this point I personally would wave down the nearest PA and have them book me a flight back to LaGuardia.

RuPaul: “Do you know [Mhi’ya]?”

Morphine: “I know of her. I’ve seen her perform a couple times. I’ve given her a dollar.”

Many online do not see the vision of Morphine Love Dion, but I do. This is deep shade of Willam proportions. I hang on her every word, and I feel she’ll only grow more iconic as the season progresses. Who else is giving us turns of phrases like “she looks like seaweed wrapped around a breadstick”?

“What you can expect from Mirage is a skintight mini dress, an 8 inch heel, and a smile.”
–Mirage

I love this queen. She’s a minimal presence for now, but everything about her vibe leads me to believe she’s the most good-natured little weirdo. Clack your heels some more slutty Vegas girl!!